


Your Love

by SnowLyxi



Category: Code Vein (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Feelings, Friendship, Gender-Neutral Protagonist (Code Vein), Heartache, Jealousy, Multi, One Shot, One-Sided Relationship, POV Second Person, Past Relationship(s), Pining, Sad, Sad Ending, Spoilers, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:08:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26706496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowLyxi/pseuds/SnowLyxi
Summary: I wish you knew how much I've loved you. Looking at you with her makes my heart ache. I want you to look at me the same way, but I know it will never happen. But I keep believing.
Relationships: Eva Roux/Jack Rutherford, Protagonist & Jack Rutherford, Protagonist/Jack Rutherford
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Your Love

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So I started playing this game a year ago and I fell in love with it immediately. I also love love love Jack, but seeing him with Eva makes my heart ache. I know that they aren't canonically in a relationship, but the implication that they love each other is pretty obvious. Even so, I love Jack and I always use him as my partner. 
> 
> I wrote this to make myself feel better about the fact that my mans with someone else but it ended up coming out more angsty than I intended for it to be.

Jack…

After coming back from an arduous day of completing tasks for your revenant friends, you enter home base and your eyes immediately draw to him from across the room. He was in his usual sitting spot on the couch, but today he seemed to be concentrating on something. Taking advantage of that, you continue observing him and spot that he had his blood veil on. Maybe he had somewhere to go soon? His countenance could only mean that it was a mission that required some sort of plan. 

You couldn’t help but laugh at his seriousness. Having known him for some time, it became easier to interpret him. He may appear cold on the outside, but you knew he was much more than that. He was a kind person who cared about his companions, but he just didn’t show his emotions much. Rather, he didn’t know how to display them so some of his gestures could be interpreted wrong. But he had a good heart. 

It was always the little things that he’d do for you that made you appreciate him. He’d come and check up on you from time to time and ask how you were. Sometimes when you gave him little trinkets you found from the battlefield, he’d give you insight into his human life. Listening to him open up to you always made you smile. Jack was a man of few words so it was rare for him to talk more than what was necessary. Maybe that’s why you always cherished those occasions.

The best moments were probably when it was just the two of you in the hot springs together. The ethereal night sky would be shining and it would be silent except for the quiet sloshing of the water. There was no need for forced chatter and pleasantries. You could finally relax and loosen up from the day’s events. But more than that, it was just you and Jack. 

Perhaps it was these moments that made you fall in love with him.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Jack looks up at you. Caught in the act, you dart your eyes down and hasten your pace towards Rin’s station. Your heart was beating rapidly. Hopefully he didn’t catch onto the fact that you were basically gawking at him. 

As you made your way, you take notice of the fact that Coco isn’t here. She must be gathering materials again. It always looked empty when she was gone. The usual stack of resources that were always disorganized on the floor was now empty, except for the car that she always leaned on. 

Finally at Rin’s counter, you place your weapon down and the sound is enough to make Rin pop out of her work space. 

“Hey! Did you need me to patch up your gear?” her bubbly voice fills the air.

“Yeah, I was out fighting some tough Losts and they kept clawing at my axe handle. Just want to make sure that it didn’t get too worn down or anything.” Worst case scenario if you didn’t get it checked is that it broke in the midst of battle which would leave you without any arms to help yourself. 

“Okay, you got it! Glad you’re alright too.”

You flash her a thankful grin. Rin returns the smile and grabs your stuff before heading back inside her workshop to get started on mending. From the corner of your eye, you see Jack in the same position as when you entered home base and you wonder what could be so concerning that he was thinking about it for that long. 

Figuring you have nothing better to do while also wanting to get to talk to him more, you make your way to the couch next to his. Jack finally moves from his pose and turns his head to look at you. You greet him with a nod and he gives one back. Plopping yourself in the middle of the couch, you lean back against the cushions and let yourself sink in.

You start hearing the noise of machinery in the work room, but it all becomes nothing more than white noise that filled the emptiness. You were used to the noise especially after the amount of missions you’ve been on where you tested your gear to their limits. It was difficult being the Queenslayer and having the ability to have so many powers. You could basically do anything, wield whatever you wanted, wear any kind of armor. It might’ve sounded like a blessing on the surface, but it just meant more pressure to succeed. If something didn’t go right, the team would look to you to come up with a new plan. You’d have to consider turning to another blood code or switching out to another weapon you weren’t used to. The others basically had default settings that they could work with and improve over time. But with you, it took longer. 

You sigh. Fate was such a fickle thing. It was fate that granted you these powerful abilities, but it also gave you this journey to go on. It was this fate of yours that led you to meet so many different people and learn so many stories. 

And it let you meet him again.

You’re not quite sure what your relationship with Jack was. You were supposedly killed by him, but then it turned out that you lived. Then you found him again only to have him fight your team which wasn’t quite the way a normal reunion would’ve gone. From there, you got to know him more and vice versa. But in all honesty, it was all just small talk between you and him. You had wanted to get closer to him in a romantic way, but you could never really find the chance. 

Or rather the chance was never there to begin with.

These feelings for him probably started back when you first met him back in Operation Queenslayer. You were put into his team for how well you had fought in your previous battles. To you, it didn’t matter who’s group you were put in. You were still going to go out there and risk your very life to fight the very person who was originally meant to save everyone, the Queen herself. 

However, while you were partnered with him, you couldn’t help but feel attached. Like when Jack was explaining the mechanics of mistles, you found yourself listening more intently and actually focusing on what was happening. It was the first time you had been partnered with someone else. Everyone else in your previous teams usually just ran off and met up in the end when it was time to battle the final boss. But this time, it was different. 

As you and Jack kept traversing through the terrain, you felt more comfortable and safe around him. He was skilled and his powerful moves made him a tough opponent against Losts. You made sure to fight a little harder so that you could show that you could hold your own weight. 

When you finally found the Queen and began battling, you remember feeling invincible. You had Jack by your side and Gregorio Silva to boot. Adrenaline flowed through your veins as you ran up to strike at her. But then it all turned wrong when she shot back a powerful blow that threw you into the air. When you landed, you were in immense pain, but you still wanted to fight and inflict some kind of damage, any damage. You wanted to help. Maybe it was that mentality that led you to use your blood veil on her despite knowing what it meant. You wanted to show Jack you would do whatever it takes to fight and win. 

So why were you so surprised when he was the one who shot you to your death?

You shake your head out of that memory. You didn’t want to remember those painful times. Your chest feels heavy and you let out a shaky breath.

Tilting your head back, you look at the church’s ceiling. It was probably better to think about the good memories that had happened between the two of you. 

You found him again when he was taking a Successor's life. Along with not recognizing him, your past emotions were gone too. He was just someone that you had to be weary of. But he wasn’t alone. He had someone else with him. You would soon learn that her name was Eva. And she was more than just his partner. 

You saw the way she came into the battle between your team and him to stop Jack from going too far. The moment she entered the room, Jack instantly withdrew to her side. At the time, your memory was still a little fuzzy and you weren’t really sure what to make of it. But, as you would soon figure out, she was someone he wanted to keep safe.

That time when she came stumbling in, almost about to frenzy, you saw yourself in her. She was willing to sacrifice her life for someone she cared deeply for, even to the point where she’d become one of those Losts. You couldn’t even imagine the journey she took by foot to get to your group. But she did it anyway. All so she could have a chance of saving someone. 

What about that time in the Crown of Sand when her frenzy was finally closing in on her? Jack was just about to deliver the final blow before something stopped him. It was you. You were the one who rushed forward and grabbed his arm. Why did you stop him?

The answer’s simple, really. You saw the way she cared for him and the way he cared for her. 

All it really told you was that it was never meant to be. You and Jack could never have the same relationship that he and Eva had. Despite meeting him before her, you weren’t there when he had to undertake the demanding and disheartening job as the Successor of the Eye. Eva was the one keeping him from going insane during all that time. 

You could never be Eva.

Perhaps there weren’t any good memories of you and Jack. It seemed that every chance you had with him was gone. The position you wanted in his life was taken away from your grasp. Someone who had met him at just the right time at just the right moment in his life when he needed someone most.

You want to laugh. This wasn’t anything new. You had already known this from the moment you saved Eva from her death. You saw her story and you wanted to look away and ignore it. But you couldn’t. You saw how close they were together. When Eva was miserable in her human life, with her voice crushed and all, he came in to save her. He was a hero in her eyes. And it led to her giving everything she had to repay him back. 

There was a reason you kept repressing these memories and feelings. You only wanted to remember the warm, fuzzy feelings that you had with him. Even if there weren’t many, they made you happy and glow with warmth. You didn’t want to keep suffering with those reminders of how you could never tell him how you felt.

Something appears in the corner of your eyes and you turn to see Eva walking out of the hallway. She was looking around, probably searching for someone. Her eyes brush over you before she finally spots the person she’s looking for. 

Jack. 

He seems to have noticed her too and he finally stands up. It seems that he and Eva were going out together as a pair again. 

But wait, that meant he was going to leave you here by yourself. You hadn’t even begun talking to him. He was going to choose Eva again.

You see him start to walk towards her and you reach out instinctively to grab his arm. Jack stops mid step and turns to look at you. You slap yourself mentally. You hadn’t meant to do it, but it just came upon you and you acted on that impulse. Your head starts rushing as you try to come up with an excuse for your precipitous behavior.

“Is there something you need?” he asks. 

You turn your focus onto him. You want to beg him to stay a couple more minutes longer with you. You don’t want him to leave you by yourself.

But then you take a look at Eva standing by the weapon rack, waiting patiently for Jack. She’s wearing the matching necklace that she and Jack both have. She sees your face and gives a little smile. And your heart breaks. 

Eva is with Jack. Jack is with Eva. They love and care for each other. Your mind revolves around those bleak, dismal thoughts. You don’t want to accept them, but…

You know it’s true. It’s true and that’s what makes it so painful. They’re happy while you have to suffer with these feelings alone. You want to cry, it hurts so bad. It feels like your heart is splitting open.

“Are you okay?” Jack’s voice rings into your ears.

You look up and see his face is filled with worry. Coming back to your senses, you realize that rather than holding onto his arm as you intended to, your hand was now locked in an agonizingly tight grip. Immediately, you release your hold and in doing so, you see the creases in his sleeve and guilt layers in on you. 

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to, I was just…” you trail off, not sure what to say. No matter how much you wish you could tell him what you were actually thinking, you knew you shouldn’t.

His eyes scan over you. He didn’t inquire any more into the matter, but his face showed that he was doubtful that nothing was wrong. He probably knew there was something you weren’t telling him. 

You’re practically screaming at him in your mind to stop looking at you and to leave. You knew you brought this upon yourself, but it didn’t make you feel any better. 

Seeing that you weren’t going to say anything, Jack finally continues his way to Eva. You let out a breath of relief. The tension when he was watching you was stressful to say the least. You weren’t sure what you were going to say if he actually started questioning you. 

You look back up to see the two chattering with each other as they were walking towards the door. They were probably checking to make sure they had everything before heading out. 

You stand up and face the two. You wanted to say it. You needed to say it.

I love you.

You stare at him, waiting for a response. However, they still continued making their way to the door. 

Of course they were still walking away. You hadn’t said the words aloud, but only in your head. Happiness and pain. It felt so good and so sad at the same time to see the person you love with someone else that made him happy. Bittersweet. You wanted to feel happiness in your heart when you saw the two together. Because he was happy to be with her and she was happy to be with him. 

“Bye Jack! Bye Eva!” you force yourself to yell out. 

They were already gone. The rest of the people lounging in home base—Louis, Mia, Yakumo—they all stopped what they were doing and looked at you. It didn’t matter what they thought of you at that moment. Despite everything, you were somewhat content with yourself. It didn’t matter who Jack was with. As long as he had someone by his side to help and support him, you’d be satisfied, even if the person filling that position wasn’t you.

At least, you’d convince yourself so.

**Author's Note:**

> This work was beta read by my friend [OuterSpace_eDater](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OuterSpace_eDater). Please go check them out!


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